My itty bitty Valentine is at Moni's and Daddy Da's for the weekend. My main Valentine and I have a lot of work to do over the next few days. We've rented a storage unit to move a lot of our furniture and "stuff" in while we have our house on the market. Things seem to be moving fast, but I think it's just because I have such a type A personality I want to get everything that needs to be done finished yesterday! We did have my friend who is a realtor come tell us what all we need to do to get the house ready, so that's where we are now. Tomorrow we will start packing up/throwing away clutter. We also will meet with the builder tomorrow. Is it bad I'm already frustrated? We had a our plan all picked out, and then we find out the garage has to be a rear entry garage since the neighborhood is a new urbanism development. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It definitely does keep the area looking nice and is one of the reasons I love it, but do you know how hard it is to find a house plan that not only has a rear entry garage but also the master bedroom and a second bedroom downstairs? We want to keep Reece's bedroom downstairs at first just in case stairs are always an issue for him. If he masters them, then he'll have the choice of a room upstairs. All of this is so exciting and scary at the same time. And, of course, bittersweet. I've had the hardest time allowing myself to feel ok with using my inheritance for this forever home. I know I'm just being weird, but I can't help it. It's like I'm saying I'm trading my Daddy for a dream house. I also know part of all of this is my trying to keep my mind busy with a "project." Yesterday was Daddy's 75th birthday. I don't know if I will ever get to the point where I can say "would've been his birthday." February 14 always will be his birthday to me. I used to tease him all the time because I said his bald spot was in the shape of a heart. I'd give anything to have been able to tease him about it yesterday. Something else that was weird was seeing Reece's valentine picture in the Carthage newspaper and reading "the late Billy Cobb" below it in the list of grandparents. Does the death of your parent ever really sink in? It's so hard for me to grasp the fact that one of the people that was there when I took my first breath is not there anymore. I am thankful that I work with an amazing group of Christian women who only lift one another up with encouraging words and actions. When I arrived in staff devotion yesterday morning, this was at my place at the table.
I did great all day until all of the kids left. Then it just hit me. After having some time to myself, one of my coworkers sent this to my email. It's the last picture I have of me and Daddy.
He played Santa at The Little Light House Christmas pajama party. I remember how great it felt to be able to share my passion with my parents, but I also remember cherishing watching him and helping him get suited up. Now I know why God played those moments in slow motion for me.
I finally got around to calling and scheduling Reece's appointment with the oculoplastic surgeon in Atlanta. Fortunately, I was able to make it for the same day as his other Atlanta appointment, July 18. He started back in aquatic therapy today to build up his strength for his big surgery (derotational osteotomy) this summer. His appointment with the orthopedic surgeon is on April 1. I'm hoping we can go ahead and square away a date to get this over with. I don't even want to really think about it other than to just get it over with.
Private speech therapy has also started back, so we are back to 3 private therapies a week (4 if you count horse riding), school occupational therapy once a week, and school speech therapy 3 times a week. Yeah, so he has 8 therapy sessions every week. To be quite honest, I am not seeing where any of the speech therapy is helping him. He does wonderfully at articulating single words when prompted, but his conversational speech just hasn't changed. It's frustrating to know how much he has to say and still have to translate for him sometimes. It's not something that serious, but it's just aggravating.
As much as he does talk, he still never ceases to amaze me. Just yesterday I had someone call me out of the blue and tell me what an inspiration Reece is to them. To be honest, the older he gets, the more numb to that fact I become. I get so caught up in some of his behavioral stuff and get so out done with him sometimes, that I forget just what a blessing he really is. Ugh, I feel horrible even typing that. I guess things have just normalized so much with him that I'm stuck in that day-to-day life of taking him for granted. There are days when I think "If he says 'hey Mama, guess what' one more time, I might just rip my hair out! I need to continuously remind myself that there was a time a little over 5 years ago when I wasn't even sure he would be able to take a breath. Now, the only reason he doesn't take breaths is because he can't stop talking. Please, Lord, help me to appreciate the absolute miracle blessing that you have given me. I used to remember so often, but I've taken so much for granted lately.
He definitely keeps us laughing!
With love,
Beth
1 comment:
Jon Michael says it takes a long long time to sink in.
You'll have to let us know once we move when you are coming. We can do dinner or something.
Don't feel guilty about not cherishing every single moment. You are a great mom and it just happens. Same with spouses, we take them for granted too. I love your honesty
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