"Never Once"

When I woke up to a cold, rainy morning, I really was hesitant to get dressed and go to church with Reece by myself this morning. I'm glad that God won the argument and pushed me to go. I don't know if I'm coming down from vacation or what, but the anxiety has once again set in. I think it's because for the past two months Reece has been complaining of his feet hurting. He no longer wants to walk around without his AFOs off because of this. He has always loved his short breaks we give him, but now he just whines and asks me to put the braces back on. He did this last night, and I asked him why. He told me that his feet were hurting again, but that they didn't hurt as bad on the rug. Now, knowing the vertical position the talus is in in both feet, I know it really does have to be painful. My frustration elevated because it's not like we've tried to help his little feet. I mean TWO major surgeries and no correction!!! Of course I start second guessing our decision not to fly out to Seattle to see the ortho there that operated on Haley Rudder's feet. Nick told me a few weeks ago that maybe I was putting my faith in the wrong person- the doctors. And maybe without realizing it, I am. You just never want your kid to be in pain, and it kills me when he says he is. I start questioning whether God was really with us in our decision making, and then I get mad at myself for questioning God. Many times I've asked Nick, "What are we going to do? What's next? What should we do?" Apparently, He must be really hearing my thoughts these days because the sermon this morning was all about having peace even when Satan tries to attack you. My ears were definitely turned on, but then they sang a song during the offering that really just struck me hard. It was like God was speaking directly to me through that song.

After you watch this, I don't think there's any need for me to type any more. I got the point... loud and clear, down to the word "scars". So, once again, I'm trusting that He's with us on this struggle with Reece's sweet little feet. Please join us in prayer for the healing of Reece's feet. We need those bones to shift into the right position so that he won't have all of this pain. If that means another surgery, please pray that God will give us the direction and the surgeon the knowledge he needs.

With love,

Beth