It's looking like neither one of those options will ever come to fruition because Nick and I have differing opinions on them. So, for now, I push those feelings way back and try to find something to prevent them from rearing their ugly head again. Thinking that something could be a part time job, I've been on the look-out for something I could do yet still have the flexibility to take Reece to therapies and appointments. I thought about going back into teaching since I discovered a kindergarten position at the private school Reece will eventually be attending. Do I really want to go back to teaching? No. I felt overwhelmed when I was teaching back before Reece. So, Nick suggests that I start working at home for a travel agency that promotes all things Disney. His dream job perhaps, but it doesn't sound like something I'm confident in yet alone enjoy. What do I really want to do? I really would like to work in children's library services. I love children's literature and all things surrounding the topic. I've been checking our regional library system's job postings, and it just so happens that there is a children's specialist job opening available... an hour away. It is part time, 20-30 hours a week, so I feel like I could do it. The downfall is the hour drive each way. At the same time, I would love to have something that is mine. Three and half years of eating, sleeping, breathing therapy, medical research, doctors' appointments, etc is wearing on me. I need an outlet. I know I said this about a year and a half ago and started selling Discovery Toys, which didn't work out either. Turns out I'm not a very good saleswoman, and I'm ok with that. We could certainly use the extra money, even if it's a small amount. Nick needs a new car, and I'd love to start on our dream home. I just am at a crossroads, and not quite sure what to do. I've definitely prayed about it and will do whatever God leads me to do. I just wish he'd let me know what it is already! I've been waiting on either a phone call or an email back from the library to find out more about the job. I'm not very patient, and it's driving me crazy.
I find myself also getting more and more involved in church. I am about to go through the training to become a mentor for expectant mothers who will have a child with special needs. I'm excited about it, but so nervous. I'll also be giving my testimony to our MOMS group in September. Again, excited, but nervous. I just want to make sure that what I say truly shows how big God really is. I'm so much better at writing my feelings than speaking them.
So, what this post all boils down to is this... please pray for me! I need some guidance and reassurance that whatever I do, it is God's will. Typing this all out helps me to lay it aside and quit stressing over it. So there... it's laid aside!
With love,
Beth
No comments:
Post a Comment